Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.

We all know someone who keeps the television on so loud that any peace in the house is shattered. This is a sign of impairment; the person with the problem really can't enjoy his shows any other way. Wives who may be used to their husbands watching TV after work or during the day after retirement will find themselves both irritated and isolated if they don't have the same tolerance for high volume. There are devices to enable the partly deaf to hear without simply turning up the sound.

One problem that doesn't have such an easy solution is that men, as they begin to lose their hearing, have trouble with high-pitched sounds. This, of course, includes their wife's voice. A woman who's used to pleasant conversation in the car or to communicating with her spouse in another room now finds herself often ignored. This may irritate her, which may bewilder her husband.

Or perhaps what she's saying is important, so she says it again, with wholly unnecessary emphasis and volume. "You don't have to shout!" he responds, and their happy meal is headed downhill fast. Counselors say that this common problem is very disruptive. They actually show women how to look directly at their husbands, pitch their voices low, and speak slowly and clearly. Only a well-informed and loving wife can accept this new approach gracefully, especially since her husband may not even notice her extra effort.

Looked at casually, this seems a minor problem, but actually it's a major one. Losing the ability for easy intercourse lowers the quality of life for all. Solutions like battery-powered aids are worth investigating before they are absolutely required. There are many different kinds and even the most perfect ones will need careful fitting and adjusting to work well.

Surgery and implants have become more common among seniors as technology improves. These more extreme measures used to be mainly for children who faced a lifetime of impaired hearing. However, many men feel that being able to interact with family and friends in all kinds of scenarios is worth it.

Fortunately the husband in our story decides to get informed early, since he has spent his working life in a noisy environment - the military (or farming, or carpentry, or as a musician, or as a miner) - that has probably damaged his ears. He also knows that his high blood pressure, his bad circulation, and his medications can contribute to hearing loss. Being deaf is worse for relationships than being blind, so he wants to do what he can.

A wife who notices that her spouse may be losing this important ability can do a lot to educate both herself and her husband. Since many professions come with loud, continuous noise - farming, carpentry, the military, factory work, mining - men are prone to this disorder. Begin now to preserve all-important communication with your life partner.




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